Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
