I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
