I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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