Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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