Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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