I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
