I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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