Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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