Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
