How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
