Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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