It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
