I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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