remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
