peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
