Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
MIDGETS
????
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize