chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize