glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
