i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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