i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
