all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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