girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
