i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
