I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize