i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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