I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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