isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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