I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
