so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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