I look better un-naked...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
