that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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