Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize