remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we made out on top of his cat.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
