i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
