Your face is a jimmy john
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
