I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
