I'm really into asian looking animals
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
