So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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