I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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