This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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