i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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