what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
