Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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