Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize