Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
