Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
