2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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