my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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