maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
