His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
