I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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