he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
