I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
