Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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