Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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