I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
