If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
