I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So much Jack, so little girl.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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