tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
