butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
