It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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