Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
