Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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