Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
