either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize