i don't like sucking hair
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
