We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Houston, we have a squirter
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
