Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
