My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
