Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
