she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
