either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
