U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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