Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
