we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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