i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
