what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
