Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
