I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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