rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She's the barista slut.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
soo... how was my night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
