whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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