so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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