He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
