So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize